Most of us carry some kind of financial debt. It may be a mortgage, a car payment, student loans, credit card debt, or a mix of them.
When it comes to debt, there’s one rule across the board: If you owe, you pay.
But when it comes to humanity’s relationship with God, the Bible says in Romans 3:23, “For we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” We all have “debt” with God. We’ve all messed up. And not one of us can pay it.
The great joy we have is defined in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
1 John 4:9-10 puts it another way, “God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.”
We can talk about all the gifts from God that He’s lavished on humanity: Joy, peace, beauty, and so many more. But all of these gifts are null and void if we don’t talk about the love God has for us first.
He has such great love for humanity—not because we deserve it, not because we’re in a good place, or because we’ve done something to be admired. Despite our brokenness, He still loves us, so much so that He sent His son to die for us.
When it comes to sin, we owed, but God paid.
In around 2007, Casey and I were youth pastors and we were totally broke. We were the kind of broke where you save your change so you can pay in coins at the Braum’s drive-thru instead of Wendy’s. Where you can’t order anything extra, because you only brought the exact change you needed for what you planned to order.
When Casey had Chloe, we got the bill back from the hospital and it was for $7,000. At the time, you might as well just have told me it was $70,000 or $700,000, because there just wasn’t any way we were going to be able to pay it. So Casey called the hospital and basically said to them, “We need to get set up on a payment plan that lasts for about 70 years, because that’s how long this is going to take for us to pay off.” They then asked for our tax returns, so they could set up a payment plan based on our income at the time. We thought that was weird, but we did like they asked and sent them in. Two days later, they called back and said, “We’ve reviewed your case and want to let you know, the hospital will pay your entire bill.”
In that moment, we were speechless. It was unbelievable news. But it didn’t stop there.
“Not only that, but we want to give your wife and your daughter a free year of medical care at Mercy Hospital for anything they may need, from the staff or your pediatrician.”
The truth is, we owed so much and we were expecting to pay for every dollar of it. But in a moment, everything changed. They took the weight off. They relieved immense stress from our lives.
And that’s exactly how God’s forgiveness for us works, too.
We’ve done wrong. We each have sin. We have shame, we carry guilt, and some of us may have secrets we carry that not a single other person knows. But the amazing thing is this: Even though we owe a debt we could never pay, Jesus stepped in, and in just one moment, He changed it all.
Matthew 18:21-22 says,
“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times’”
Then He goes into a powerful parable on forgiveness:
“‘Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him 10,000 talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.”
At that time, one talent was the equivalent to 20 years of a person’s wages. So 10,000 talents is the equivalent of about 200,000 years of work, or thousands of lifetimes worth of debt in modern estimates. Financially, it’s just shy of $3.5B in today’s dollars. Aside from maybe the emperor of Rome, no one at that time would have possessed that kind of change.
That shows us two things.
For the church, the story of forgiveness doesn’t begin at the cross, it starts at the cradle. Before there were nails in Jesus’ hands, there was straw beneath his back. Before the crown of thorns, there was a mother’s embrace. And before our debt was paid in full, the payment walked the earth, just like us.
The king in Matthew 18 cancels a debt that no one could repay. God did the same for us when He stepped off His throne and into our world. The one we owed became the one who paid.
No matter what’s on your rap sheet, or what secrets you’re carrying, or how much shame is attached to your life, He came and He paid.
The parable in Matthew 18 doesn’t stop at forgiveness. Keep reading starting in verse 28:
““But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred dinari. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
A hundred dinari is equal to about $10,000, or a couple month’s wages. It’s a significant amount of debt, but not overwhelming. So a payment was due, but it wasn’t an impossible debt.
When it comes to our relationships, it can be so hard to forgive those we’re close to when they hurt us. Maybe they lied to you, or talked behind your back, or said something about your kids. As soon as they act against us, there becomes this imbalance in the relationship. It feels like they owe us.
We may not verbalize it, but it feels like they owe us a debt for that action. At the very least, they owe us an apology.
But this text reminds us to have mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you.
Grace received becomes grace released.
How long do we naturally want to hold onto the hurt, bitterness, resentment, debt, and unforgiveness? Until we feel different? Until we feel like forgiving?
The truth is, you’ll never feel your way to forgiveness. And every day that goes by with you holding onto unforgiveness and bitterness is another day you’re stuck.
It’s easy to hold onto offenses, especially when the person is close to you. Some of us have serious problems with our siblings. It’s easy to forgive everyone else, but it’s hard to let go of that sibling rivalry because it’s a battle we want to win. But you’ll just find yourself stuck.
Others of us may think we’ve moved on and done the work of forgiveness, but we keep talking about it. We say, “I’m good, I’ve moved on.” But we keep talking about the hurt and holding onto the offense.
In Matthew 5:43-44, Jesus says,
““You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
Other translations say, “Who hurt you.”
In Colossians 3:13, Paul says,
“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
Some of us need to put these two verses up everywhere we can see them—in our kitchen, on the bathroom mirror, on the dashboard so we can see them while we’re driving. We need to read this, apply it, and reapply it.
Make allowances for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you. I’d add, or annoys you.
The Lord forgave us, so forgiving others isn’t optional. Even when they hurt us. Even when they’re still hurting us. Even when it’s still going on.
I’m not suggesting toxic or dysfunctional relationships are okay. But I am asking us to remember the beginning of Matthew 18:
“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times’”
For a little context, Peter grew up Jewish. The rabbis taught that if someone offended you, you were obligated to forgive them three times. When Jesus said 77 times, or other translations say seven times seven, He’s basically saying, lose count.
When Peter asks if he should forgive just seven times, he expects Jesus to give him a pat on the back. But Jesus says stop keeping score. Don’t think of offense as someone owing you, when you’ve been forgiven of much, much more.
What we also have to keep in mind here is that Jesus knows Peter will deny Him three times, and it’s a moment that will come soon. Jesus knew Peter was going to commit an offense against Him. But He still tells him to lose count, because that’s exactly what Jesus will do with him.
The warning of the whole passage is to never become someone who forgets the big, massive, extravagant forgiveness Jesus has already offered through His ultimate sacrifice. There’s abundant love in what Jesus did for us, but there’s no love in unforgiveness.
In Matthew 6:14-15 Jesus says, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Last time I went to the doctor, they told me I have high cholesterol. When it comes to high cholesterol, doctors will tell you that most heart attacks don’t happen suddenly because your cholesterol increases. They’re a slow build. Plaque starts collecting in the arteries, not all at once, but over time. With a poor diet, there may be no signs at first, but over years, the arteries start to close up and then everything changes.
Unforgiveness operates the same way.
Unforgiveness doesn’t announce itself. It starts with a small offense we don’t deal with properly. Then that becomes a wound we don’t address. We’ll keep smiling, functioning, and acting like everything is alright, but now grace can’t flow freely.
Then, when life applies a little pressure through stress, disappointment, or loss, the buildup leads to a spiritual collapse.
The servant in Jesus’ parable had received so much love and grace from the king, but something blocked that forgiveness from reaching his heart and transforming his character. He became clogged with entitlement instead of gratitude.
Jesus’ warning isn’t meant to scare us, but to save us, because a heart that won’t forgive is a heart that’s in danger.
Unforgiveness isn’t about denying our wounds, but it’s refusing to let those wounds define us.
It’s not fair, it’s not reasonable, and it requires us to behave like no one else.
Sometimes I wish I could act like everyone else—holding grudges or letting people really have a piece of my mind—because letting go is hard. But Jesus reminds me there’s a better way.
I wish we could stop at just three forgivings. But Jesus invites us into an unreasonable way to live our lives because we’ve already received a gift that’s absolutely unreasonable in itself.
It’s as if He’s saying, “If I’ve done something so extravagant, so big, so great for you, how can you not do something so much smaller for someone else?”
Forgiveness is releasing the hurt, the bitterness, the offense, and the anger, so it doesn’t have control over your heart and your mind. It’s allowing yourself to get to a better place where grace, love, mercy, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and goodness can all flow as they should.
Jesus sent the invitation: “I came that you may have life, and have it to the full.”
Will you practice unreasonable forgiveness and choose the better way to live?